Julius Robert Oppenheimer » Games » Genital Jousting Stats

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17 of 28 (61%) achievements earned:
Personal Achievements
 

Most Improved Tapulator

Learn how to literally just navigate the main menu.
Unlocked 7 Sep, 2021 @ 11:47am

Go Left

Move to the left.
Unlocked 29 Jun, 2021 @ 9:23am

Go Right

Move to the right.
Unlocked 29 Jun, 2021 @ 9:23am

Meet Your Maker

Penetrate God.
Unlocked 7 Sep, 2021 @ 12:15pm

Fire Inspector

Safely deploy all the fire extinguishers. For safety.
Unlocked 29 Jun, 2021 @ 9:30am

Self Defence

Use the cake knife to defend yourself from wedding guests.
Unlocked 30 Jun, 2021 @ 2:09pm

Swan Tamer

Make peace with a gaggle of swans. Their natural instinct is to kill.
Unlocked 30 Jun, 2021 @ 2:10pm

Paperwork

Submit your monthly physical report.
Unlocked 7 Sep, 2021 @ 11:55am

Popcorn Buffet

Eat a disgusting amount of popcorn.
Unlocked 7 Sep, 2021 @ 12:23pm

Appalling Appetite

You should see a doctor immediately.
Unlocked 7 Sep, 2021 @ 12:25pm

Clumsy

Die a lot of times in your nightmares.
Unlocked 7 Sep, 2021 @ 12:57pm

A Better John

Start taking responsibility for you actions.
Unlocked 30 Jun, 2021 @ 3:01pm

Always Finishes First

Good at video games. Terrible at sex.
Unlocked 10 Jun, 2022 @ 5:57pm

Generous Lover

Finish last in a Party Mode game.
Unlocked 29 Jun, 2021 @ 9:38am

Spare Wheel

Be the only one locked out of an ouroborus.
Unlocked 25 Jul, 2021 @ 10:21am

The Perfect Partner

Marry yourself in Abstinence.
Unlocked 25 Jul, 2021 @ 10:28am

Autopaedicatio

Penetrate yourself in Traditional Mode.
Unlocked 25 Jul, 2021 @ 10:20am



Early Bird

Swallow every worm.

Sleep No More

Don't let sleeping dongs lie.

Bulking Gear

Use all the "supplements" you can for maximal gains.

Master Unlocker

Collect enough milk to fill the tank.

Couch Party

Have enough friends and enough controllers to play an 8 player game.

My Precious

Get all of the rings in Lord of the Rings.

Magnetic Basshole

Win Lights Out in under five seconds.

Safety First

Everyone survives having sex in a trash-compactor full of needles.

Till Death Do Us

Have sex in the Date Night graveyard.

Fussy Lover

Save yourself for that special orgy.
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