Ender's entire childhood was filled with the pressure of achieving his parents' hopes and dreams for their children which was to follow in their footsteps and become brilliant scientists and doctors and to get married, have lots of beautiful Catholic babies, and live close to home so that the kids could run down to grandma and grandpa's house whenever they wanted.

By the time Ender was only three or four his parents already knew that his brother Talo, would not be the one to fulfill their life's desires and the responsibility fell to Ender's shoulders, growing even more severe when Talo left home, completely abandoning the family in his parents' eyes. Ender grew up hearing about all of the ways that Talo had done wrong, had betrayed them, was a terrible person and a terrible son and he should be nothing like him. It was hard for him, because in many ways Ender idolized Talo and had a level of hero worship for him.

By the time Ender was ten or eleven he knew he wanted to be a doctor and had a fierce determination to stay home and be everything that his parents wanted him to be. He wanted to make them proud more than he wanted anything else in the world. He would become a great doctor, would work in the local hospital, get married, have a bunch of kids, and fulfill their dream for him.

He was twelve when the way they treated him started to shift. His mother started asking him almost obsessively if he had any crushes on the girls at school and who he thought was pretty. His father yelled him when he found Ender absently watching a couple of older boys play with water guns across the street in their swim trunks. Ender was 13 or 14 when one of the guys down the street, the older brother of one of Ender's friends, came out as gay. This wouldn't cause most to bat an eye, but in their little community it caused a stir Ender would never forget. At church, at home, even among his friends were reminders of the sin of homosexuality and how it went against God's Plan for us all.

He wasn't expecting the way that his parents pulled him close, starting questioning everything he did, and even forbade him to spend time with his friend because of his older brother. Eventually they expressed concern that Ender might be having the 'wrong kind of feelings' for other boys. The accusation had hit him like a blow and to Ender, it seemed to come out of nowhere. He had denied it vehemently, believed his denials, and did everything that he could to show them that he wasn't gay.

He started getting girlfriends, going to school dances, hanging out with the 'right' kind of boys instead of the somewhat abrasive or awkward friends he'd gravitated toward naturally, and his parents began to back down a little.

Ender was seventeen when his father walked in on he and a school friend in his room, on his bed. Their books were laid out before them, though their bodies were close, touching. Looking back Ender wondered if the friend had feelings for him, but Ender had been oblivious and innocently leaning in to look at something on the other boy's padd when his father threw open the door, saw them, and kicked his friend out of the house.

After that the torment was relentless. Ender couldn't escape the constant accusations that he was gay, that he was sinning, that he needed to repent his impure thoughts. Ender was confused, he didn't know what they were talking about. He didn't even masturbate (because he was a good Catholic boy) and his sex drive was well, well below that of his peers.

Being as stubborn as he was and as eager to please his parents and prove himself, their fears only pushed him that much further into deep denial about who he truly was, as well as pushing him to go the extra mile to prove them wrong. At 17 he left home to attend school, with the intention of coming back home after he earned his medical degree and fulfilling his parents' hopes and dreams for himself.

He did not know at the time that he would never come back.

Instead of going home on breaks and summers he found himself taking extra classes and participating in extra curriculars that gave him excuses to not be able to. He made friends, eventually met Kate who became his girlfriend and, upon graduating with their Doctorates, she became his wife.

They got married three years into dating, just after both graduated with their Medical Certificates. They both continued their educations, earning their doctorates while married, and both getting involved with medical projects on. However, marriage didn't fix some of the deeper problems in their relationship and it grew strained, lasting only 2 years. After both had earned their Doctorates and were preparing to decide where they would go next, Kate stated that she would be divorcing Ender. She had many reasons, but the primary one was that she thought he was gay and could not keep pretending.

Still in the deepest levels of denial, perhaps even worse than he had been when he first left home, this sent Ender into a downward spiral. He was meant to have the perfect life - he would have Kate, they would have a family, he would be a doctor and they would have the life he was supposed to have. Except that it was all falling apart around him.

Instead of heading home, Ender threw himself into field medicine, going wherever places and dangerous lands to treat people on the front lines that needs help. He found a passion for the hands on thrill and the ability to help people there, in the moment, who would otherwise not make it.

His parents stopped all contact with him completely when they found out about the divorce and Ender had no desire to re-establish that contact.

During that time an unexpected event sent him emotionally spiraling again, with his firm denial of his sexuality brought to shaky grounds. He ended up working his way through finally admitting he was gay, and was eventually referred to a sex therapist to work through the worst of his physical intimacy issues. Accidentally, he and his therapist fell in love over the many months they worked together. Appropriately, said therapist broke things off as inappropriate, but after several months of being apart the two found their way to each other again.