Recent reviews by El-Shabob

Dark Souls 2? More like ass sh1ts poo

TIL this was a bitcoin miner

Humour
Fun combat
Good writing

These were the ingredients chosen to create the ultimate Earthbound successor

But Dingaling accidentally very very purposefully added an extra ingredient to the concoction.

Depression.

This is a disaster. Not even going to change in gameplay that i am not a fan of, this is a port that fools itself into believing it was successful. There are so many bugs and glitches that should not even be issues that are found. A needed audio setting being unchecked on first load, horrible frame rate, long load times, etc. It's quite remarkable that they put out an "enhanced" edition made to serve only people who have ray-tracing graphics cards before they made a version of the game that is easily accessible. An absolute disgrace. I would've refunded this game if a bug that hides the game in the background didn't inflate my hours. The worst experience I've had on steam to date.

One upgraded graphics card later and I am now finally able to actually play the game. All the same issues continued to rear their head, albeit slightly less horribly. But crashes continually persisted, save files continually got corrupted and the bugs, holy ♥♥♥♥ the bugs. I've seen blind one-shoting monkeys teleport, ammo not replenishing after a respawn, melee takedown indicators not appearing as i sniff a dude's ass, the whole pile. The game STILL looks like ♥♥♥♥, so much so that i had to continually change the brightness from level to level as environments would change from eye-blinding to hexcode#000000, resolution seemed to be an after-thought as i had to set it to 1920x1080 every time I launched the game.

I could've forgiven a lot of this, I mean i fully played through Cypberpunk 2077 in its launch window. I can deal with bugs and glitches and all the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ you toss at me if the game was fun. Is Metro Exodus fun? NO. The gunplay which is this game's bread and butter for the most part, is constantly tossed away near the end of missions in favor of stealth ops. WHO THE ♥♥♥♥ THOUGHT THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA? We literally went from a gun-blazing "Soldier's last stand" in Last Light, to crawling around monkeys. I am not kidding that is not a joke, that's the actual final act, you crawl around monkeys. Since I've been using a Mouse+keyboard and had ctrl bound to crouch i would take breaks regularly because I tended to use my pinky and I was crouching so much that it actually caused me pain. The need for more of these missions to be stealth ops becomes clear when you realize how few resources you actually have. Which begs the question of why these side-quests are even a thing. They are literally present in only 2 areas and for the majority of the time have you fighting monsters which does nothing but drain resources. Speaking of "2 areas", this game is REALLY short. It goes from Intro -> Open Area -> Event -> Open Area -> Basically event but kinda open area -> Finale. It actually feels like the worlds of the 2 previous Metro games were bigger and all of those happened underground. And it really isn't that hard either. If someone were to go uninterrupted it would take them approximately 10 hours to complete. Exodus resolves this issue by adding bullet sponge enemies, A LOT of unskippable cutscenes and these spikes in difficulty that feel like you've been softlocked until you get lucky.

Some people will try to justify this game by attributing it to the story and ya of course its good. Its a book series that got a video game adaptation, and this is the 3rd one yet, if it wasn't engaging up to this point this game would never have gotten released. Where Metro Exodus fails is on a gameplay perspective. When it's being stealthy its being tedious; when its trying to give you action, its trapping you into wasting resources; when its trying to be emotionally powerful it gives you monkey. The gameplay revolves around generic gunplay, tedious stealth mechanics and unappealing open worlds. It's another victim in the trend of developers thinking open = good and more = better. This game series would've been just fine in continuing its trend of linear segments used to effectively describe a story.

I really only picked this game up again because Steam wouldn't refund me and I thought i should get my money's worth but somehow I feel like I have lost more goodwill than when i simply couldn't play it. But at least the final verdict is still the same: This is the worst experience I've had on Steam in gaming, ever. It's that bad.

Get Predator + Grim Reaper. Job's done

Better than you know, but just as bad as you think. Detroit: Become Human without anything that makes that game interesting. I have to say though, visually its actually impressive, but that can't salvage the fact that I've seen faster walking from Nick Vujicic and yet they still decided to add a driving segment.

"Now that's a masterpiece for your wallet" - VideoGameDunkey

I want the bash mechanic to be implemented into every single game in existence.

Fun while short game to run through the first time around, really the bulk of my hours are in the post-game. Speaking of post-game, I have done many many suspect things in my life. I've gone to my retail job when Coronavirus is rampant, I've drank the rest of my coffee after I believed the cream I put to be expired, I've ♥♥♥♥ in a McDonalds bathroom. But I will never, ever, ever play Katana Zero on Hard Mode ever again. My ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ is still malding from how ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ I am. I think the scars of all 2424 deaths in the 6h and 40 min it took me to beat this will never heal.

The same people who dislike MGS:V are the same people who refrigerate their piss so that they can toss it into a ♥♥♥♥ smoothie later.