Steam Community :: New Age Shoeshine

New Age Shoeshine

Korea, Democratic People's Republic of

Currently demoralised

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Currently demoralised

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Currently Offline

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*dabs* *dies*

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Total War: ROME II - Emperor Edition

467 Hours played

I am an allied Italian citizen of Ancient Rome. Working my way up through the auxiliary ranks for peerless performance in battle. My fervour and unquenchable thirst to conquer for Rome results in me becoming one of the Socii Extraordinarii, the elite vanguard of the Imperial war machine.

A week before I complete my unblemished 25 year service, and receive my lavish pension and Roman citizenship I would have the honour of fighting on the front lines in a pitched battle against the immeasurable Gallic hordes threatening our homeland. The final engagement to quash the resistance entirely and end our campaign.

My unit and I cut deep swathes into the barbarians, reddening the soil and filling the oncoming tide with dread. Hours pass in the melee before a horn sounds, quickly followed by another, and another. A cacophonous chorus fills the metallic tasting air, and the wild-men turn about and run for the wooded hills.

The Equites, perched on the ridges for this very moment burst into life, as if suddenly animated from a stupor, and run the beasts down mercilessly like a cat does a mouse.

We are victorious.

As I look over the grassland turned mausoleum, for the first time in my adult life I contemplate my retirement. The villa I will be appointed in Thracia, the children I will nurture, and the vast olive plantation I will administer.

The men begin to cheer in unison, and I too feel the need to bellow at the top of my lungs — Mars has truly blessed us on this day.

Volleys of boulders pepper the blue sky above us, as our onager crews loose their final munitions into the amassed primitives scuttling for safety. Just as my fatigued arms reach to the sky and the exaltation erupts from my mouth, one of the granite projectiles fired by an inexperienced crew hurtles towards my unit and
instantly fragments my skull and torso into a hundred fleshy, sinewed masses. My life snuffed out by a lowly pleb on my finest hour.

God the siege engine AI sucks. Too many good and honourable men have died to those idiots shooting in to the back of their own units. Other than that, the game is pretty good.