yooo, add me

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6. the dollar

Hey I found your steam through a mutual and I just wanted to say that I think we could get along real well :) I don't normally do things like this cause I'm a real gentleman :3, but do you want to maybe play a bit of cs sometime (omg I'm so embarrassed) >< I could go on my smurf so you don't have to put in that much effort, even though you're like the best and you'll probably be on top every round. When I see your name I just feel like we have this special connection that I can't describe in words, I think.. maybe we knew each other in a past life xDD like I can do the cooking and everything, you don't have to worry about that cuz I'm a real feminist, but I'll still take care of you <3 I know how to make a woman feel like a girl, but I won't do anything that freaks you out, just say one word and I'll stop so so fast! so maybe just consider me? I can't believe I'm writing this all out to you >< !! Even if you reject me it's all worth it just for you, my wuv <3 (plz don't reject me !!)

Hey Champ

Mom says you got rejected by a girl today? Wanna talk about it with your old man?

Look bud, the truth is your adopted. You’re getting older and I’m sure you’ve noticed you look nothing like your mother and me.

Your birth mother was a grotesque, beast of a woman who conceived you in the bathroom of a Rite-Aid. The police found you in a dumpster behind her apartment building.

Anyways champ, you’re gonna get rejected a lot. You can’t take it so personally. There’s beautiful people and then there’s ugly people.

I’m glad we had this talk buddy. If you ever need anything let me know. Unless it costs money if that’s the case ask your mother ha!

Night, big guy! Love ya.

+rep a dog