Your midnight cravings allowed you to be tempted by the shredded cheese man.
You have satisfied your hunger, but at what cost?
Do not allow yourself to fall for such tricks.
Educate yourself about the dangers of shredded cheese.
This unidentified man has been attempting to lure people into the refrigerator during
the hours of two to four am mountain time by offering most notably shredded cheese.
He has also been sighted tempting victims with raw sticks of butter, dry rigatoni, and

a brick.
If you see him, immediately contact the federal bureau of shredded cheese man containment.
Do not fall for his tactics, for he is but an illusion.