Gay sex is actually the straightest thing possible. It’s literally pure testosterone. Afterwards you high five, grill some steak, have some beers, and maybe watch a game. There’s not a drop of estrogen anywhere near two dudes passionately ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. Just two guys locked into each other’s muscular curvature. If anything, it’s mutual combat. Not gay.

+rep bae

snorted a bunch of molly at a party last night and got hit in the head with something so i blacked out and i had a dream that i was ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ a really hot ♥♥♥♥♥ but then i look at her face and it was Hank hill and i screamed and then i woke up but it was one of those dreams inside a dream so i woke up in my bed but then Morgan freeman said im gonna ♥♥♥♥ that cute little boy♥♥♥♥♥ and then started beating the ♥♥♥♥ out of a midget with a brick and then i woke up covered in my own piss

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Gru is the most powerful being in the universe, and here's why: according to the height of a Minion (which is 3.5 feet on average) Gru is 4 minions tall, which means he is a godly size of 14 feet tall. Second if any of you remember the original Despicable Me, you know there is a scene when Vector kidnaps the three girls and shoots a series of heat-seeking misses at Gru, he then dodges them all. According to the speed of an average ballistic missile (1900 mph) and the size of the missile according to his ankle size, Gru can perceive and move at such a speed that the missiles only move 9.5 miles per hour, 0.5%of their original speed. Plus after this Gru punches a shark and it is paralyzed meaning its spine is probably shattered, to remind you it would require a force greater than 3,000 newtons to fracture the spine. That's equal to the impact created by a 500-pound car crashing into a wall at 30 miles per hour. I rest my case.

HAHHAHHASDAPHAHJASDHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH ♥♥♥♥, I LAUGHED SO HARD, MY DAD CAME AND ASKED WHY THE ♥♥♥♥ I WAS LAUGHING?! I SHOWED HIM, HE STARTED LAUGHING ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ LOUDER THAN ME, WENT TO ROLL ON THE FLOOR, MY GRANDPA CAME DOWN AND ASKED WTF WAS GOING ON? HE READ IT AND ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ STARTED LAUGHING TOO, MOM TOOK A READ AND STARTED LAUGHING SO HARD SHE STARTED SHOOTING THE DOG USING THE GRANDPA'S RIFLE! THE NEIGHBORS CAME SAYING THEY'LL CALL THE COPS AND WTF WE WERE LAUGHING AT? WE SHOWED THEM AND THEY ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ FELL FROM THE WINDOWS ALMOST HAVING A SEIZURE, THE COPS CAME AND LAUGHED SO HARD THEY SHOT EACH OTHER! THE AMBULANCE CAME AND THE DOCTORS LAUGHED SO HARD THEY ♥♥♥♥♥♥ EACH OTHER WITH THE DEFIBRILLATOR! I ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ CALLED DAVE ON SKYPE TO SHOW HIM THIS, HE LAUGHED SO HARD THAT WHEN HE APPLAUSED FOR THIS COMEDY HE BROKE HIS ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ HANDS! LMFAO