After our second time together, I felt adventurous.

“What if you stuck a Twizzler in my butt?” I asked.

“Twizzlers!” he shouted, spanking me hard, though not as hard as he did when I said wrong things. “They’re disgusting. I love everything that comes out of your butt, especially my love hot dog,” he said, gesturing between his legs at his love hot dog. “Except those. Twizzlers suck compared to Red Vines. Twizzlers taste like the cherry flavor in grownup cough syrup. Like it’s cherry flavor and clam sauce or something.”

He started rubbing me. “I love your clam sauce,” he said.

“Mmm,” I said.

“Let me have your hot clam sauce.” He kept rubbing me and grabbed a graduated cylinder and put it under me, where I was dripping sauce.

“I don’t know if I can…” I said.

- 50 shades of grey

dingus

The Cow will destroy all
we must all run to the waifus to protect us

indeed

w a c c

oy its me