I love the dichotomy between 5 word reviews and essay long reviews

HUGE plus rep for this guy+++ he traded his traffic cone for my two unturned turtle shirts. This sort of high level trade is absolutely risky but I can't stress enough how smooth this transaction went

've never wished Brees any harm whatsoever. But on the day the BUCS play New Orleans, I hope his car doesn't start and no one in his house has a cell phone charged so there's no way he can call an Uber.

I hope he and his lovely wife get into an argument about how/why the car won't start. I hope he slips up and says she's acting like her mother. I hope it messes him up mentally and he feels guilty for fussing in front of his sweet little children. I hope those children take their mom's side.

I hope, somehow, all of his neighbors are on vacation that weekend and it looks like a scene from "28 Days Later" so there's no chance of him using their phones or bumming a ride from them either.

In an attempt to make up, I hope his wife offers him an olive branch in the form of a cupcake that she and the kids made the day before. I hope he graciously accepts said cupcake and bite into it and fall in love with his wife all over gain. I hope he remembers that he's got a battery charger stashed away in the garage. I hope that battery charger is dead because it hasn't been used a long time. As he realizes the battery's dead, I hope his stomach starts bubblin' like Andersonn.Paak reciting a witch's spell as his wife comes around the corner and reminds him how petty she can be and she reveals she laced his cupcake with a laxative.

I hope he misses the hell outta that game.

Hey, AmazonPrime! What's up man? It's the Time Serpent from Psychology 101 last semester. I didn't know you were some kind of superstar Analander hahahaha. Hit me up, man. Btw, did you ever hook up with Fenestra? She was a big girl hahah. You are such a dog. It's so cool to see you again. You have my number. Just rewind to me, man.

i will derail a train into your house