Imagine teebagging people who are throwing the game

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Yesterday, I got roped into watching my 3 month old niece while my sister got her hair done. So there I am, sitting in the waiting area of a hair salon with my niece, and who walks in, but Phil Andrews.
I was nervous af, and just kept looking at him, as he read a magazine and waited, but didn't know what to say. Pretty soon though my niece started crying, and I'm trying to quiet her down because I didn't want her to bother Phil, but she wouldn't stop. Pretty soon he gets up and walks over. He started running his hands through her hair and asking what was wrong. I replied that she was probably hungry or something. So, Phil put down his magazine, picked up my niece and lifted his shirt. He breast fed her right there in the middle of a hair salon. Chill guy, really nice about it.

My "Dream Man" should, first of all be very Nigerian and Starving. He should have a physique like Rolfyboi, a profile like Egano, and the intelligence of a/an Incredipede. He must be polite and must always remember to Succ my Child, to tip his Classpad and to take my Elbow when crossing the street. He should move Non-Consensually, have a/an Moist voice, and should always dress Vigorously. I would also like him to be a/an Blacc dancer, and when we are alone he should whisper Wrinkled nothings into my Wenis and hold my Humoungous Dinosaur. I know a/an Zucchini is hard to find. In fact the only one I can think of is Gnomeyboi

So today, for the first time, my little toddler finally counted to ten. Everyone was celebrating, saying how proud they are in my kid, and then my mate James kicks open the door. "Oh you think it's impressive that they can count to ten? I can count to one million." and then proceeded, in my living room for the next two weeks, to count to one million. He then said "yep, another libtard destroyed" and then curbstomped my kid.

Domminate the room, do what i do, get one of those 15L water cooler bottles and bring it to class slung over one shoulder, slam that ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ on the ground in the aisle.

Everytime you feel a little thirsty stand up, lift the bottle to your mouth with both arms, make sure you spill plenty of water over yourself and the floor every time you do, also, let out a deep, loud, exhalation of satisfaction after every sip, then finish the routine by slamming the bottle on the ground again before loudly saying, "pfew, I needed that, I was getting a bit THIRSTY" yell thirsty as loud as you can.

When class finishes, pick up the bottle in such a way that the remainder pours out as you leave the room.