Who am I?

Listen close my little birdies. This is the face of power, prosperity, and all your sexual desires. You are looking at the face of true power, and true beauty. You are looking at a very classy, and very knowledgable fellow.

Now, look at yourself...

BUT QUICKLY LOOK BACK AT ME!!! You find my face irresistable. I smile upon this. A pat on the back for you, sir. But, how do I do this, you ask? How can I accomplish these miracles and feats of valor? Well, being the most classy and knowledgable man in man-kind, I will be delighted, if not honered to explain to you how it all began..

Let me begin by stating that I am exceedingly brilliant. I graduated from high school at the age of nine, entering Harvard University upon hitting puberty, and becoming a professor at the Columbia Institute at age 16, lecturing those the properties of the "tantalizing" equation... MY equation to being cunning and quick-witted. When I retired at age 25, I walked out to doors to an array of flashing cameras and people holding microphones to my lips. They all begged for the answer of what I would do with the rest of my "life".

My "life" overshadows your mundane routine between your dissolving relationship with your nagging fionce and the frustrating atmosphere at the office in every way imaginable. My life is FAR more worthy. I am known for making an ungodly amount of cash from my trillion dollar stock-trading empire. I sit at the end of a massive thirty person table, though I never use it to seat thirty people. Instead, I make those who enter my office believe that I really do have thirty investors who would sit here but don't, and you gasp upon this and applaud to how brilliant I am.

I live in my massive, luxourious estate on the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ MOON. Every morning, I awaken to a row of well-dressed servants: those who do my every command, and some of which are there just to kiss the ground I walk on. But I do not pay them in cash, they are paid through knowledge. Their payment of serviture is simply for me to tell them that they're all worthless, and I am a true gifted pioneer for humanity's push towards a dawning era of endless pleasure, and they all weep with joy upon hearing these words escape my lips and continue to clean my lunar manor around the clock for weeks, smiling as they do so. I then depart on my space rocket towards our mother-earth to purchase another vast number of stocks for my Fortune 500 company, laughing at flat-broke investors begging for change as I pass them by in my two story limousine.

Now that you know how rewarding it is to be in the presence of The Most Classy and Knowledgable Man In Man-Kind, you may be asking yourself: "What kind of wisdom do you have to share?", or "How can I be a massive and ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ good sucess such as yourself?"

We'll, I'll tell you, and YOU alone, how I became such a sucess.

The most important meal of the day is vital to accomplishing an excelling and sexy future ahead of you!! Never, NEVER forget that.