"Space… the final frontier. These are the voyages of one incredibly good-looking Starfleet captain. My five-year mission: To seek out big booty goth girl planets, to explore strange new civilizations (preferably full of baddies), to make first contact with Latina space princesses to answer any Snow Bunny distress call, and to boldly seduce every 10/10 alien babe until intergalactic peace is achieved!"

"No matter the crisis, war, diplomacy, time paradox, or hostile takeover, one thing remains certain: the solution is always to rizz up the galaxy’s finest. If she's got an evil empire, thick thighs and a tragic backstory, she's getting a dinner invite on the Enterprise because not only is she my prize but I am always ready to engage. If the fate of the universe depends on me well, set phasers to maximum rizz, because rizzistance is futile.