Ph3
Mahmood Mohammed Abdullah Rakesh   Christmas Island
 
 
hELLo i am p00r starve grill from Uganda. pLs email sKinS, sKel3tonz und inTernal orgaNs off AK-47; ze NUMBA ONE weep0n of me h0melan ISISter so i can go b00m h34Dsh0T! b00m h34Dsh0T! on my m0rtal enumy ze Black O'Booma und reTurN 2 my mummyland sLovaki4 and geT my bumbum PR0BED by Kim Jong ILL™.
Death to America
Allahu SnAkbar

P.S: Your family eats soy eggs.
P.S: Your mother does not prepare squid properly.

James Bond: "The bond's Name. James Name:"
Q: Pleased to... what?
James Bond: "Bond Name's the james"
Q: Are you alright?
James Bond: "Bond Nond's having a stronk, call a Bondulance"
Jelenleg offline
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PogChamp MUM IM IN A VIDEO GAMEEEEE
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:BLINK: Go f0ck yourself. You stupid b!tch ass mother f0cker. You are one of the worst league players ive ever seen in my entire life and i've played thirty thousand games with straight sh!tters. Ive played with AI bots for like five thousand games and every single AI beginner bot is five times the player you are at your peak bro. I'm not kidding, you are garbage and you cost me my reputation you piece of sh!t. *Hkaah Ptooey*. Thanks for the 10k bits.

:BLINK: Heres a story back in my younger years. So i've been looking for a girlfriend and i asked some of me mates about how to go about getting one and i got told that the best place to meet some girls was to go was the beach. So i obliged and decided to go to the beach with a couple of notes. So i get to the beach and im really nervous, palms sweaty, knees weak, arms heavy and all that. So i start looking around and to my surprised theres a lady there with no arms and legs and i thought "ah ill go up and introduce myself" and i said "do you need to be turned over?" cause you gotta be all courteous and stuff. She looked at me, smiled and said "yea that would be great!" so i turn her over and while im at it i thought, lets keep going. So i asked "would you like me to rub some sunscreen on your back? and she was like "yea that would be great!". Fast forward and we end up going for a walk down the beach, im essentially holding the best part of a torso and a head but it was romantic none the less. So i thought we better get to a private area ya know ;) So we get to the end of the rocks and nothing but ocean around, nobodys around, nice and private. Its probably 6pm, nice sunset so i thought come on lets just say it so i go "Excuse me, have you ever been f4cked before?" and she gasps and goes "No i never!". So i go "Would you like to be?" and she goes "Yea that would be great!". So i pick her up, Threw her in the ocean and said "YA F4CKED NOW!"
I havent been back to the beach since. I think she liked it, i think she liked me :) True story.


:BLINK: When a woman gets a vibrator it's seen as a bit of naughty fun. But when a guy orders a 240v F00kmaster Pro 5000 blow up latex doll with 6 speed pulsating p00say,elasticised anus with non-drip semen collection tray, together with optional built in realistic orgasm scream surround sound system... he's called a pervert!

:BLINK: hey guys I am very kawaii, love fedoras, aethism and lov 9gag. Pleased to meet you gentlemen lets have a euphoric time

:BLINK: Sometimes when my mom isnt home, i like to go into her garden, cover myself up with dirt and pretend im a carrot.

:BLINK: Do you like tapes and cds? Im going to tape my d!ck to your forehead so you can cdz nuts

:BLINK: Why did the girl fall off her bike? I threw a fridge at her

:BLINK: Have you tried the rodeo? When you are on top and ready to c00m, tell her that you are HIV positive and stay on as long as you can

:BLINK: Who were the fastest readers in the world? 9/11 victims, They went through 118 stories in less than 20 seconds

:BLINK: Whats the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race

:BLINK: Why doesnt Mexico have an Olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump and swim are already in America

:BLINK: Sometimes i super-glue my thumbs to my n!pples and pretend im a t-rex

:BLINK: My favourite s3x position is called "WOW". Its where i flip your MOM over ;^)

:BLINK: My wife is so negative, I remembered the car seat, the stroller AND the daipers but all she can talk about is how i forgot the baby.

:BLINK: If you're such a fan of Pokemon then what does Rhyhorn evolve into? Rhydon-deez nuts

:BLINK: Hello am 48 year man from somalia. Sorry for my bed england. I selled my wife for internet connection for play "conter stirk" and i want to become the goodest player like you I play with 400 ping on brazil server and i am Global elite 2. pls no copy pasterino my story

:BLINK: Hey do you know a Candice? Candice d!ck fit in your mouth?

:BLINK: What are your thoughts on Kenya? Kenya fit deez nuts in your mouth?

:BLINK: Does anyone here like Kombucha? Kombutcha mouth on this d!ck b!tch

:BLINK: You know you should really get into fitness. Fitness d!ck in your mouth

:BLINK: Hey you guys wanna play some of that new Sea of Thieves DLC later? Sea of Thieves nuts will fit in your mouth

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human d!cks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have s3x with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human d!ck. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take c0ck all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more
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Batman™: Arkham Knight
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Készítette: Ph3
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Idk i play stealth ONLY for 1000+ hours of payday 2, can Solo speedrun-stealth on Death Sentence One Down for all stealthable missions so you should probs and can listen to me for actual stealth advice. I make youtube stealth videos and stream stealth only
Legutóbbi aktivitás
98 óra a nyilvántartásban
Legutóbb játszva: nov. 26.
1 127 óra a nyilvántartásban
Legutóbb játszva: nov. 26.
2 óra a nyilvántartásban
Legutóbb játszva: nov. 17.
1996 Toyota Celica 2023. jún. 27., 0:28 
btw i cancelled the heal 3 times because i had insta heal so you would be healing me for no reason
76561199157810031 2023. máj. 27., 7:37 
Please accept my friend request i saw you from bazaar.tf
Noz 2023. ápr. 28., 1:41 
-rep kicked me when i was tryna wish him the best :(
what the freaking flip flop 2022. ápr. 4., 7:24 
tempus vvv
what the freaking flip flop 2022. ápr. 4., 7:23 
youre id 69 on {HIVATKOZÁS TÖRÖLVE}. Nice
Ph3 2021. dec. 5., 19:45 
Lanky Lenny