THIS MAN HAS DONE IT HE REALLY DID IT! My boy has gone and done it, he's twisted the nipple of the pineapple, he's jerked off the lettuce, he's fallen from the tree tops of the yard and threw a rock on grandma's 2007 Chrysler PT Cruiser.

A plain sandwich will bring great sorrow and pain to the masses.

The lonely man circles the abandoned Kmart like the common bird, feeding off the souls of the dead retail store. A drug deal gone sour in the parking lot of a casino next door, hurting more than just the unknown in a Ford Tempo, a steak cannot fix wealth, but only subtract from it. A raccoon will consume as much as it needs to in the KFC dumpster, while a mad man will scream and shout at the ceiling for containment of the sacred fleshlight.

This sad creature owes me a bucket of fried chicken and a bottle of Coke or else I will throw rocks at an unknown location around the southern area of New Mexico on Sunday at 6:35 PM in order to keep the skin people away from my village of more than 15 non-believers who all wear black trench coats, sunglasses, and a gray t-shirt with an alien's head on it. It's true that on the dark side of the moon there's a black hole, and it's also true that there is a car in every closet in the plant, but you should not fear these things as they help keep the unknown from coming out of your kitchen sink and touching your Sony Playstation 2 in an unforgiving way on the dark night in 2003 a dog man came out from the back of a Cadillac and started to attack fence posts near the Dallas Texas area. This is another part of the reason why we exist, so that we may witness these things with full view of the green televison and the golden VHS player.