Recent reviews by Royal Bear Archetype

I went to the doctor and said I was depressed, they told me that I needed a new hobby and I should get into Balatro.
I sobbed as I cried out
"But Doctor, I am playing Balatro."
He'd never seen so many failed attempts at orange Stake before.

Fantastic cute roguelike, be worshipped for being perfect or a monster.

Vacation turned world ending disaster, a summer like...well honestly every other for the WoL. Spending most of the first half of the expansion being the best friend and bodyguard to Wuk Lamat is fun as hell, it's great to see an mmo not making your character the main character, but still making you incredibly important to the story and plot. Wuk Lamat going from a niave anime protagonist to full character has got to be one of the most fun things i've gotten to experience.
Not to mention giving Erenville a descent spotlight too!

This is the expansion where the WoL gets to sip a martini, go exploring, and kill stuff for fun and fortune again and in the words of my favorite villain.

Such pleasures, you seek for their own sake, and no other reason. Is this not so...Adventurer?

Maybe I got roped into this by somebody, but the pleasure of the adventure?

That, I can't deny.

A Fantastic 2 player dueling game. Beautiful art, slick awesome looking combat, and controls that work perfectly. There's even a story mode for folks with no friends. Highly recommend

I desperately want to give this game a yes, it was chaotic fun trying to learn the controls and the flow of the game, until I realized....there is no flow.

The good
I love the graphics, gives me big "throw my action figures at each other" nostalgia and most people look enough like themself to know who they are.
Create a character takes no time at all due to the entire process being smooth as hell and quick loading, but options are limited but reasonably fun and able to create different enough characters.
Same thing for movesets and arenas, although arenas are a little limited as well.

the bad
Every match I've ever had was one of two repeats, punch, kick, a bunch of grapples, don't let the opponent do anything and win, or punch, kick, grapples, the opponent gets a bunch of buffs suddenly, gets their signature, the AI kicks in and it actually does something and then wins in one move.

I also don't understand the match ratings system as I have gotten A+'s in everything but C- total and 2 stars.

Controls are fine, janky "first try of a video game series" feel and I expect it to get better in the probable sequels, but it's fine for now. Highly recommend immediately rebinding run though as running finishers are hard enough when the button to run needs to be held down to keep going.

The career mode is insane in the bad way.
Create a character run was a nightmare as things just happened with no idea why. I won the tag titles and then immediately turned on my partner with no choice in the matter, joined death triangle only for them to take my acceptance as turning them down for some reason, squashed every single match I had until Jon Moxley superman'd through the exploding barb wire death match to suddenly hit me with one move and win. Finally my career ended with 4 gauntlet matches and a 4-way match for the title that I only lost because the Ref stopped paying attention to the submission I put on to count 3 and the animation to drop it took so long I couldn't do anything about it.
Orange Cassidy run was just the same, squashes and squashes until my final match where after a full beatdown squash I was hit with one signature I don't even know how they got and lost.

Minigames are brought down by how janky and rough they control and the fact the AI seems to be able to attack way faster than you.

There's a lot of other small things to nitpick but I can definitely say this game isn't too bad a start for a wrestling game series. Fun with friends, kind of sad playing alone.
Throw in a GM mode like 2k13, the ability to download/upload created wrestlers, make the matches a little more back and forth and fun, a bit more customization and I'd play this any day over the competition.

This makes my high end computer smoke.
I love it.

I somehow ruined my own chances at a date because I think I was to nice to the person I wanted to bone down.

10/10

The ghost refuses to have sex with me no matter how high either of us get, 10/10

In a childrens game about toy cars I have threatened my friends life for the tracks he's made.

excellent track editor and fantastic game, little heavy on the driving but very good.

Miss Doritos Crash Course from the xbox live marketplace? well this'll be as close as you're getting to it for a long while.