i was robot, slamming my own hinges with a spanner when this user placed thermite in my left ventricle, shortening the line span of my. I woke up to a molten pile of materiaals which was what i remained of

I was preforming horrendous surgery on myself when all of a sudden this user burst into my surgery room (sons bedroom) and stole all my most potent acid known to man...suffice to say i was quite upset as I had locked myself in place with titanium locks rendering myself useless against the huge devastating blow inflicted on the back of my head by this man....great, how am i gonna burn my awful rotting worts away now?...

I was lynching my myself, doing my 2lb deadlift when a massive pair of human lungs descended from the ceiling and breathed on me. This made me mad, and caused a rupture of my bloodcell which made all three of my eyes fall out my head. I cnant see now, as I have become eyeless. I memorised my keyboard to type this message after years of writing novels about kicking my own forehead. My forehead is dented inwards atleast one meter.

I was busy minding my own business in the horrendous sewer when a giant floating glove made of steel located me. It instantly teleported in front of me and rocked me in the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ face. This has left my left nostril exponentially higher than the other, causing me to receive large amounts of beatings and awful lashings from the rest of the sewer beings.

my father was digging a monstrous hold on the back yard and i fell into it and i died. this information has been passed onto the proper authorities and the illuminati will be in touch shortly

I decided to dig a large hole in my backyard and my son fell into it and died welcome to the grave