the leg man » Games » Genital Jousting Stats

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21 of 28 (75%) achievements earned:
Personal Achievements
 

Go Left

Move to the left.
Unlocked 30 Jun, 2021 @ 2:00am

Go Right

Move to the right.
Unlocked 30 Jun, 2021 @ 2:00am

Meet Your Maker

Penetrate God.
Unlocked 30 Jun, 2021 @ 4:19am

Summer Job

Reminisce about your care-free days as a cactus picker.
Unlocked 30 Jun, 2021 @ 2:40am

Fire Inspector

Safely deploy all the fire extinguishers. For safety.
Unlocked 30 Jun, 2021 @ 2:10am

Early Bird

Swallow every worm.
Unlocked 30 Jun, 2021 @ 3:51am

Sleep No More

Don't let sleeping dongs lie.
Unlocked 30 Jun, 2021 @ 3:49am

Self Defence

Use the cake knife to defend yourself from wedding guests.
Unlocked 30 Jun, 2021 @ 2:53am

Swan Tamer

Make peace with a gaggle of swans. Their natural instinct is to kill.
Unlocked 30 Jun, 2021 @ 2:56am

Bulking Gear

Use all the "supplements" you can for maximal gains.
Unlocked 30 Jun, 2021 @ 3:09am

Paperwork

Submit your monthly physical report.
Unlocked 30 Jun, 2021 @ 4:01am

Popcorn Buffet

Eat a disgusting amount of popcorn.
Unlocked 30 Jun, 2021 @ 2:48am

Appalling Appetite

You should see a doctor immediately.
Unlocked 30 Jun, 2021 @ 2:49am

Clumsy

Die a lot of times in your nightmares.
Unlocked 30 Jun, 2021 @ 3:14am

A Better John

Start taking responsibility for you actions.
Unlocked 30 Jun, 2021 @ 3:54am

Couch Party

Have enough friends and enough controllers to play an 8 player game.
Unlocked 30 Jun, 2021 @ 4:31am

Always Finishes First

Good at video games. Terrible at sex.
Unlocked 30 Jun, 2021 @ 4:43am

Generous Lover

Finish last in a Party Mode game.
Unlocked 30 Jun, 2021 @ 4:40am

Till Death Do Us

Have sex in the Date Night graveyard.
Unlocked 3 Jul, 2021 @ 5:20pm

Autopaedicatio

Penetrate yourself in Traditional Mode.
Unlocked 30 Jun, 2021 @ 4:30am

Fussy Lover

Save yourself for that special orgy.
Unlocked 30 Jun, 2021 @ 4:36am



Most Improved Tapulator

Learn how to literally just navigate the main menu.

Master Unlocker

Collect enough milk to fill the tank.

Spare Wheel

Be the only one locked out of an ouroborus.

The Perfect Partner

Marry yourself in Abstinence.

My Precious

Get all of the rings in Lord of the Rings.

Magnetic Basshole

Win Lights Out in under five seconds.

Safety First

Everyone survives having sex in a trash-compactor full of needles.