Satan Graveyard's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 18 Nov, 2015 @ 8:39am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 18 Nov, 2015 @ 1:19pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 18 Nov, 2015 @ 8:41am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 27 Feb, 2016 @ 5:53am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 18 Nov, 2015 @ 8:49am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Unlocked 4 Dec, 2015 @ 3:13pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 18 Nov, 2015 @ 10:11am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 18 Nov, 2015 @ 12:31pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 18 Nov, 2015 @ 1:40pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 28 Nov, 2015 @ 8:41am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 2 Dec, 2015 @ 6:39am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 2 Dec, 2015 @ 10:41am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 3 Dec, 2015 @ 8:59am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 4 Dec, 2015 @ 5:51am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 5 Dec, 2015 @ 3:47am

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

Unlocked 1 Mar, 2016 @ 7:45am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 5 Dec, 2015 @ 6:14am

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 2 Dec, 2015 @ 10:04am

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Unlocked 27 Feb, 2016 @ 10:56am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 18 Nov, 2015 @ 1:29pm

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked 27 Feb, 2016 @ 11:26am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 29 Nov, 2015 @ 3:36am

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 5 Dec, 2015 @ 3:28am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 3 Dec, 2015 @ 8:20am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 26 Feb, 2016 @ 2:23pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 26 Feb, 2016 @ 11:34am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 29 Nov, 2015 @ 4:08am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 2 Dec, 2015 @ 10:34am

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Unlocked 28 Feb, 2016 @ 5:11am

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 27 Feb, 2016 @ 6:45am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 28 Nov, 2015 @ 8:35am

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 26 Feb, 2016 @ 10:48am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 26 Feb, 2016 @ 2:42pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 18 Nov, 2015 @ 8:41am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 28 Nov, 2015 @ 8:39am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 3 Dec, 2015 @ 8:23am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 2 Dec, 2015 @ 10:23am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 18 Nov, 2015 @ 9:10am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 18 Nov, 2015 @ 10:30am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 18 Nov, 2015 @ 8:51am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 2 Dec, 2015 @ 6:12am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 18 Nov, 2015 @ 9:02am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 18 Nov, 2015 @ 10:14am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 27 Feb, 2016 @ 6:38am

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 27 Feb, 2016 @ 7:27am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 28 Feb, 2016 @ 4:55am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 26 Feb, 2016 @ 10:57am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 27 Feb, 2016 @ 8:28am

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 27 Feb, 2016 @ 7:55am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 29 Nov, 2015 @ 3:11am

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 5 Dec, 2015 @ 10:56am

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 3 Dec, 2015 @ 9:01am

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 4 Dec, 2015 @ 6:02am

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 4 Dec, 2015 @ 3:19pm

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 5 Dec, 2015 @ 4:12am

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 5 Dec, 2015 @ 12:51pm

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

Unlocked 6 Dec, 2015 @ 3:39am

Ape Gape

Escaped the Animal Control Center with all monkeys alive.

Unlocked 3 Dec, 2015 @ 10:06am

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 5 Dec, 2015 @ 2:59am

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

Unlocked 6 Dec, 2015 @ 2:19am

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 5 Dec, 2015 @ 6:04am

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

22 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

16 / 20

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

15 / 30

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

19 / 30