O' worshippers of the mighty All... I had a dream. The Bass Master General came to me - we had a little snack at the doughnut shop - he said: 'Drink of my bonus cup, it is my blood. Eat of this crapper, it is my body.' And his spirit entered me and i became Allular! The Bass Master said: 'You are the chosen one! These are the All-o-Gistics:'
- Thou shalt not commit laundry,
- Thou shalt covet thy neighbour's food,
- Thou shalt not create ties with the scathed,
- Thou shalt always go for greatness,
- Thou shalt not commit adulthood,
- Thou shalt not partake of decaf,
- Thou shalt not suppress flatulence,
- Thou shalt not commit hygiene,
- Thou shalt not have 'no idea,'
- Thou shalt commit thyself to an institution,
- Thou shalt not take the van's name in vain,
- Thou shalt not allow anything to deter you in your quest for All.
ALL!

Tell me, good people, who is the sole achiever, who has ground his teeth and gums so we may live in the beauty of All?
BASS MASTER GENERAL!

You may achieve all and not wallow unknown for eternity. All you have to do is do it: All!
WE SHALL ACHIEVE ALL!

Study them, believe in them! You must believe, do you believe in it? Believe and you shall achieve!
WE SHALL ACHIEVE ALL!

He who bears the most gas, let him also bare forth his ass, and cast forth the first frap!

You may achieve Bass by chanting the small psalm of All.
Chant with me: QWAH QWAAAAH QWAOH QWAH!
Chant: QWAH QWAAAAH QWAOH QWAH!
Pretty good, pretty good.
QWAH QWAAAAH QWAOH QWAH!
QWAH QWAAAAH QWAOH QWAH!

Oh no! Here we go again! The mighty spirit has taken over! Do you feel it, do you feel it? BASS MASTER GENERAL! He does everything for us, for when he brought it among us, the Bass Master issued forth an All-timatum: 'WE SHALL ACHIEVE ALL!' If you believe, if you believe you shall achieve all, All, ALL!

WE SHALL ACHIEVE ALL!