Recent reviews by Alta

heap of ♥♥♥♥♥

greatest game ever

tl;dr : this game is a masterpiece that helped my confirm my decision to donate my ballsack to a ballsackless person in need.

August 1st, 2022. It was a dry night as it hadn't rained in a week. The mildly warm end-of-summer air flows throughout my house as I sit on my computer gloomy and depressed, I was browsing twitter until seemingly out of nowhere a navy rectangle appears in the bottom right of my screen

"You have received a gift! Click HERE to claim"

My eyes light up, I excitedly grab my mouse and go down to the notification to claim the gift, "Grim has sent you a gift, Your Anime Waifu " I click accept and immediately swipe my mouse to my steam library, scowering through all my games to find Your Anime Waifu. And low and behold, there the game was sitting there at the bottom of my library. I quickly set up a screen share to my friends on discord and I begin to download the game. Whilst the game was downloading I had many thoughts and questions racing throughout my mind. "What if this game actually contains the cure to cancer" "Will this game fix my failing marriage?" "Why did he choose this game out of all to gift to me?"

I quickly go and take a fat greasy ♥♥♥♥ as I knew I should have a distraction free environment to play Your Anime Waifu. And once I came back, a miracle occurred.

"Your Anime Waifu has finished downloading"

"Marvelous. Wonderful. Absolutely sublime." I say to myself as I quickly rush to sit down on my chair. I grab my mouse again and slowly drag my cursor up to the play button, anticipating all the superb memories I will have of Your Anime Waifu and all the life changing experiences that will come with it. And once my mouse was hovering over the big green rectangular play button, I clicked.

Nothing happened for 5 seconds, I slowly began to panic. What if the game didnt work? What if the game was actually just a scam? Why do these unfortunate events have to occur to me?

But then my screen flashed black for 2 seconds, and suddenly the screen flashed to the title screen. "Your Anime Waifu", there were 3 options I could choose from, Play, Options and Quit. But before I rushed to play the game I had to marvel at the beauty of the title screen, A Blurred hentai picture with the title "Your Anime Waifu". It was a masterpiece, A spectacle for all of mankind! But alas, the beauty was too good. My friends were eager to know what type of game it was since they can't appreciate beauty in it's purest form.

So I gather the courage, I press play. "Level Selection", I marvel at the sheer amount of levels there is to play in Your Anime Waifu, and I proceed to click Level 1.

A puzzle appears. A shuffled illustration of a naked anime woman. I was taken aback, but I knew my mission, my goal, my destiny.

I gather up all my cerebral power, I begin to slowly match up a few pieces but all of a sudden I came to a complete halt, I couldn't figure out how to finish this. My brain is doing 83 calculations a nanosecond just to come up with the next move!
EUREKA! I figured the next move out. I moved it and I was now 1 tile closer to enlightenment! I fix my posture and I sit up on my chair. The veins in my head begin to expand as I am using so much brainpower its causing me to draw blood from my limbs up to my brain. I begin to match each piece together, slowly getting closer and closer each time.

I was almost there, almost reaching enlightenment. A few blood vessels in my head popped due to being worked too hard! I begin to make more and more calculated movements, until there were five tiles left to fix, then four, then three, then two.

And finally, I reach the last move, the finishing move, the checkmate position to this puzzle. I felt each and every dopamine and endorphin receptors readying themselves for the climax that's about to come. I haul my cursor up to the final tile. I put pressure on the mouse and I drag it up.

I have done it, I have finished level 1. I have reached maximum enlightenment that even the Dalai Lama himself could only dream for! I feel each and every chemical of dopamine be released into my brain.

And from this enlightenment I have discovered the true futility of life, why should I continue my own blood line when I have already achieved more then any of my children or grandchildren could come even come close to? I thought about all the poor ballsackless people in need of a ballsack. So I grab my Samsung Galaxy S2 and I ring the doctors office and explain my thought process. The doctor was astonished, and nominated me for a nobel peace prize. Unfortunately the CIA didn't want the world to know how powerful of a game this truly is, so the sabotaged me and launched a smear campaign to damage my public outlook.

This game is single handedly the greatest and will always be the greatest outcome of mankind will ever produce.

I cannot recommend this game enough, thanks for listening to my experience of Your Anime Waifu
-Femboy Gaming

delete this game

A fun game but jesus christ gauntlets suck the gameplay is easy but what makes them had is just random ass moving objects and ♥♥♥♥ thatd give you a seizure after like 5 minutes of playing

whoa! tits ahoy!

i love being penetrated with a spear by dwarves wearing crusader gear who is simultaneously being penetrated by a lance from a guy going 60kmph on a horse whilst at the same time performing a battlecry

i dislike

game is tome

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