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I stare at these commoners smugly as I sip my coffee out of my "♥♥♥♥ Religion" mug. These subhuman troglodyte plebeians drink their Starbucks Milkaccinos and Whipped Caramel Mocha Caloriattos, while I, with my IQ of 187 (or 192, depending on the test), enjoy the true patrician's drink, the very life-blood of intellectuals, straight black coffee. These ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ normalfags will never understand.
Also my piss smells like coffee, so that's a plus.

I sexually Identify as a minion. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed annoying the ♥♥♥♥ out of humanity. People say to me that a person being a minion is Impossible and I’m ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install overalls and goggles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “Minion” and respect my right to post stupid pictures on facebook. If you can’t accept me you’re a minionphobe and need to check your banana privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.