Happy 🎊😄 christmukkah🎄🔯 to all you christmukKUNTS 💋💅 This year 🗓️ we shoved🫸🪠😩 TWO 👯2️⃣ celebrations 🕍⛪️ into ONE 1️⃣🕴️little 🎀🍼🔞 day so now 🚨⏰ let’s see 🫣👀 how many ☝️✌️thick🛢️🪘hot 🥵❤️‍🔥 DRIPPING💧🍯 candles 🕯️ you can fit 😣🧩 in the judah maccaBUSSY 🍑🥥 between your succulent 🤤🍖 snow globes 🔮🔮 Santa 🎅🦌 says 🧑‍⚖️ to trim ✂️💇 the tree 🌲 but keep the wreath 🦔🩲 nice 😋 and bushy 🌳🦍 and make sure 📝 the LABIA 🌮🦪 MENORAH 🕎 of your temPLUSSY 🕍🌮 is slick ⛲️🚿 with enough 🤑 lamp oil 🌊🪣 to last eight 8️⃣🎱 NOT SO SILENT 😩💥📢 nights🌛🌃 cause he needs to STUFF 🛍️🍗 your stocking

🧦🔥 with a fresh ♨️ batch 🧑‍🧑‍🧒‍🧒🚊of potato 🥔🍠 panCOCKs ©️🅾️©️ But REMEMBER ⚠️🚨 that whether you’re lubing 🧴🪣 up ⬆️🆙 for the FISTival 🤌🕳️ of lights 💡🔦 or sucking 🦟🧛 off jolly old 🏚️👴 st. ♥♥♥♥ 🍆🌽 you’d better keep the HOLE 🛟🍩 in holy day ⚔️🛐 and send 📤📫 this to your 12 1️⃣2️⃣ GAYS👨‍🎤🏳️‍🌈 of christmas 🎄 or else daddy 🧔‍♂️🫃won’t ⛔️ bring 🤲🧳 you 🫵 his figgy pudding 💦🍮‼️ And now we SING 🗣️🎼 Good 👍✅ tight 🤏things we briiiing 📥🎵 to you and your kiiiin 🧑👧🧒👦 good 👍✅ tight 🤏 things for COITUS 💏 and a happy NUDE🦶💪🦵yeEEeeEear 🎉🎇🥳2️⃣0️⃣2️⃣5️⃣

God I love the ford flex. Ever since the car set tread on the auto show stage, I instantly fell in love with the boxy and sleek proportions of the ford flex. I hung up posters in my room and had it as my wallpaper for weeks. I'd go to the ford dealer and take several pictures of the flexes in stock. However, one day my love for the flex got so immense that i just couldn't resist— whenever I saw a flex on the road or thought of one, I'd instantly become erect and started to mastrubate to that boxy beauty—l'd even go as far as fantasizing about sticking it in those wide exhaust pipes, l'll admit. My love for this beautiful piece of American engineering will always stand strong, through thick and thin.

PINGUPINGUPINGUPINGUPINGUPINGU

Once upon a time you decided to play the game Garry's Mod for the first time in a while. Since your favorite game mode was TTT, you hoped into a server called Carbon Castles. Little did you know, this one simple click would change your life forever.

On the server was a single user: their name, [CC] Danny.

You decide to give Danny a nice hello as an introduction.
Danny suddenly responds in a deep voice, "Hey Pingu, if you want to connect to the members of this community then you can join our discord."
What he said vanished from your mind as you become infatuated with the sexiness of his voice. Deciding to play it cool, you join the discord and connect with him and a bunch of other members getting to know everyone as time passes.

Months pass as you become know as the resident e-boy. Being on such good terms with everyone in the community, you decide to finally make a move on Danny.
"Hey, we've known each other for a while and I was wondering if you wanted to take our relationship to the next step?"
"Omg Pingu, I've been thinking the same thing for weeks. I love the way that you ask for free games and the thirsty e-boys just give them to you. You make such a good dialoguator."
And like that, you and Danny hit it off.

A couple of weeks had passed and you were known as Danny's e-spouse. After sending each other inappropriate pictures of yourselves, you decide to finally meet in person. You make a date for next Thursday at the Chicago Bean.

Finally, the time has come. You excitedly wait at the Bean in anticipation to finally contact Danny in the flesh. While waiting you spot him in a legend of zelda T-shirt and cargo shorts. With every stride he makes toward you, you see his massive muscles nearly tearing away the T-shirt; in fact, you almost hope he pulls a Superman so you can see his sexy chest. As he approaches you he refuses to break eye contact, asserting his predatory dominance over you. You can feel the sweat dripping down your neck as this massive hunk starts to lean over you and talk.

"You're sexier in person than online, Colin."
"The same can be said about you, Daddy."
"You wanna do it?"
"Here? b-b-but everyone is watching."
"It's alright, we'll let them know how much we love each other."
As he finishes, he leans in for a kiss. You can feel the heat as his lips come to meet yours. Every microsecond passes by, the anticipation is killing you from the inside. Your lips are almost touching, this is it, the home stretch, the climax, the hors d'oeuvre, this is the moment you habe lived your entire life for.
Suddenly, contact.
Houston, we have liftoff.

Im not gay but 20€ is 20€

signed by ur idol - esbelto sanchez

My therapist thinks he's pretty cool

What if I killed you

playing 3 straight maps of inno motel is actually wonderful
i know how many times ive been told extending a map more than once hasn't been removed, but can it not actually be removed. one of the most fun maps in the server and people aren't voting for it to be played 3 times in a row because people don't nominate to extend it as soon as the map starts to get it to the bottom so all the zombies on the server don't vote the top thing. oh terrible day i can wait to play the same square map again for the first time lmfao

!nominate innomotel

!nominate clue

playing 3 straight maps of inno motel is actually sickening
idk how many times ive been told extending a map more than once has been removed, but can it actually be removed. one of the most boring maps in the server and people are voting for it to be played 3 times in a row because people nominate to extend it as soon as the map starts to get it to the top so all the zombies on the server vote the top thing. oh joyous day i cannot wait to play the same square map again for the third time lmfao

playing 3 straight maps of inno motel is actually sickening
idk how many times ive been told extending a map more than once has been removed, but can it actually be removed. one of the most boring maps in the server and people are voting for it to be played 3 times in a row because people nominate to extend it as soon as the map starts to get it to the top so all the zombies on the server vote the top thing. oh joyous day i cannot wait to play the same square map again for the third time lmfao

playing 3 straight maps of inno motel is actually sickening
idk how many times ive been told extending a map more than once has been removed, but can it actually be removed. one of the most boring maps in the server and people are voting for it to be played 3 times in a row because people nominate to extend it as soon as the map starts to get it to the top so all the zombies on the server vote the top thing. oh joyous day i cannot wait to play the same square map again for the third time lmfao

dude go outside

pingupingupingu

hello mr pingu are you affected by ptsd and or trauma inflicted from being staff on a Carbon Castles server? if so please email [email protected] and we can discuss possible restitution for damages, both mental and physical. thanks for taking the time to read this and thank you for your service.

hello mr pingu are you affected by ptsd and or trauma inflicted from being staff on a gmod ttt semivanilla 24/7 minecraft b5 server? if so please email [email protected] and we can discuss possible restitution for damages, both mental and physical. thanks for taking the time to read this and thank you for your service.

hey, sorry I saw your profile and I just thought you looked cute in your picture, I really wanted to tell you that)) It's really rare to see girls playing video games haha! I don't know why its a guy thing honestly im like really against misogyny and like ill be the one in the kitchen making sandwiches. We should really play l4d2 sometime its a really cool zombie game with a lot of scary moments, but don't worry ill be there to protect you ;) sorry that wasnt flirting I swear Im just trying to be friendly I really like your profile picture sorry was that too far? Really sorry i'm really shy I don't go out much haha add me on skype we should talk more you look really nice and fun xxx

MERRY CHRISTMAS NERD!

Happy Birthday

AC130 ABOVE!!!!!!!!

♥♥♥♥

☻/ This is bob. Copy and paste him so he can take over youtube.
/▌
/\

Happy Birthday 🎉🎁🎂🎈

-rep Not a real dad

Signed by Aluras!
:)

forever a cutie

𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓹𝔂 𝓿𝓪𝓵𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓮'𝓼 𝓭𝓪𝔂
𝓲 𝓱𝓸𝓹𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓱𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝓪 𝓰𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓽 𝓭𝓪𝔂

esbelto is a short biiii-

Merry Christmas Bro, hope you have only the merriest :^) you definitly deserve it. <3

:sigh:

estbelto is the best elf on the shelf

you guys are cute fighting in my comments section

I don't have to imagine it. I live MY perfection to the fullest. 👐👏

imagine being short

Imagine being slave to an e-girl

Hello servant

𝙿𝚘𝚌𝚔𝚎𝚝 𝙿𝚒𝚌𝚔

youre a cute eboy cutie

pingupingupingupingu

HIIIIIIIIIIII PINGUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!

💚💙💛💜

Happy birthday!