Recent reviews by Neon Princess Outlaw

I turn on the news to see what the world has been up to. I see the work of gangs, vandalizing our many metropolis empires with paint, litter, and the bodies of any unfortunate fellows that decided to wear the wrong color on the last night of their life. It’s sickening. I turn off the news for the day and open up Rocket League in all its irony.

At first, I thought it was good fun. I played soccer as a kid, also known as football if you’re in one of those third-world Trump-hating countries, and I did a pretty good job making sure the ball was well and thoroughly kicked. But, just as my foot hurt after playing in the kiddie leagues, so hurt my soul as I began playing Rocket League. It only took a couple of targeted “Wow!” messages to turn my sorrow into pure moist hatred. “Nice pass”. I stew in my hatred. “Great Shot”. I become the soccer mom. “Thanks”. A friendly scrimmage turns into a violent brawl. Targets were made of the enemy team who insulted us with their colors. Focus diverted from the big bouncy ball to the beautiful brash bastards trying to chase it. I wanted them to burn. And burn they did.

I exit Rocket League after the death count reached somewhere in the hundreds. I turn on the news to see what the world has been up to. I see the work of gangs, vandalizing our many metropolis empires with paint, litter, and the bodies of any unfortunate fellows that decided to wear the wrong color on the last night of their life. It no longer sickens me. Thank you Rocket League.

It's an evil, cruel world out there, and "Woodle Tree Adventures" opened my eyes to the reality of it all. You are born into a life of crime. From the day you are born, you are running around collecting debts owed to the family, being fruit, of course. If they can't pay up, then their tears will suffice. Sometimes you have to use force, because sometimes they fight back. Your only weapon is a leaf, but I swear I have yet to see a leaf capable of so much pain and destruction in all my years as this one, and I've seen a lot of leaves, my house has windows. All it takes is one fell swoop and any retaliator or rebel is vanquished. Sometimes innocent lives are lost as well, caught in the crossfire, however some live to complain and tell the tale and must be taken care of later. Their deaths are most tragic and graphic; they fall backwards as a sign of submission, then right after they give a little "squee" they burst into white flakes, completely vanishing from existance. Families will forever be torn apart, populations drastically affected by the murders, but you remain unphased. This is what you were meant to do, and you do it with a smile. I value the time I've spent playing "Woodle Tree Adventures", as it has shown me a side of this world that I would have never seen outside of my bubble. It not only immerses us in the hard life of crime, but has an underlying message of love for one's family and how far people or small tree creatures will go to do what is best for the family.