Mr. Ulgab

We divided the assets: my heart, her shoes,
I kept the dog; she kept her excuse.
She got the house, but I got my peace,
She kept the plants, I kept my release.

I married a saint, or so I was told,
But saints don’t binge Netflix and leave dishes cold.
She said “I love you,” but what did she mean?
She loved the idea, but not the routine.