joey's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2015 @ 8:29am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2015 @ 8:46am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2015 @ 3:02pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2015 @ 3:05pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2015 @ 9:42am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2015 @ 9:03am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2015 @ 10:39am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 25 Apr, 2015 @ 3:29am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 25 Apr, 2015 @ 3:03pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 26 Apr, 2015 @ 1:28am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 26 Apr, 2015 @ 3:08am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 26 Apr, 2015 @ 5:23am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2015 @ 11:16am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 25 Apr, 2015 @ 4:44am

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 25 Apr, 2015 @ 3:10pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 18 Apr, 2015 @ 3:25am

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 26 Apr, 2015 @ 1:40am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 26 Apr, 2015 @ 1:38am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 18 Apr, 2015 @ 4:11am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2015 @ 8:55am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 25 Apr, 2015 @ 4:47am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 26 Apr, 2015 @ 3:21am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 25 Apr, 2015 @ 3:43pm

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 26 Apr, 2015 @ 5:01am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2015 @ 3:03pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 25 Apr, 2015 @ 4:39am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2015 @ 2:58pm

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 26 Apr, 2015 @ 2:03am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2015 @ 8:35am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2015 @ 9:05am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 18 Apr, 2015 @ 3:45am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 18 Apr, 2015 @ 3:26am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2015 @ 9:54am

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2015 @ 3:24pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 26 Apr, 2015 @ 2:59am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 26 Apr, 2015 @ 1:44am

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 18 Apr, 2015 @ 3:48am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2015 @ 8:47am

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 25 Apr, 2015 @ 2:54am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2015 @ 10:42am

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 26 Apr, 2015 @ 5:24am

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 23 Jun, 2015 @ 6:56am

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 18 Oct, 2015 @ 9:14am

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 18 Oct, 2015 @ 10:16am

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 3 Sep, 2020 @ 10:59am

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

Unlocked 5 Sep, 2020 @ 3:18am

Ape Gape

Escaped the Animal Control Center with all monkeys alive.

Unlocked 27 Aug, 2020 @ 7:16am

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 18 Oct, 2015 @ 9:44am

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

Unlocked 23 Jun, 2015 @ 6:56am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

24 / 30

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

22 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

9 / 30

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

5 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 20

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

10 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

1,920 / 5,000