Je glum » Games » Genital Jousting Stats

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11 of 28 (39%) achievements earned:
Personal Achievements
 

Go Left

Move to the left.
Unlocked 15 Jun, 2022 @ 11:55am

Go Right

Move to the right.
Unlocked 15 Jun, 2022 @ 11:55am

Meet Your Maker

Penetrate God.
Unlocked 15 Jun, 2022 @ 12:29pm

Fire Inspector

Safely deploy all the fire extinguishers. For safety.
Unlocked 15 Jun, 2022 @ 12:04pm

Self Defence

Use the cake knife to defend yourself from wedding guests.
Unlocked 15 Jun, 2022 @ 2:55pm

Swan Tamer

Make peace with a gaggle of swans. Their natural instinct is to kill.
Unlocked 15 Jun, 2022 @ 2:56pm

Clumsy

Die a lot of times in your nightmares.
Unlocked 15 Jun, 2022 @ 3:13pm

A Better John

Start taking responsibility for you actions.
Unlocked 15 Jun, 2022 @ 3:45pm

Always Finishes First

Good at video games. Terrible at sex.
Unlocked 12 Apr @ 9:41pm

Generous Lover

Finish last in a Party Mode game.
Unlocked 12 Apr @ 9:41pm

Till Death Do Us

Have sex in the Date Night graveyard.
Unlocked 15 Jun, 2022 @ 11:54am



Most Improved Tapulator

Learn how to literally just navigate the main menu.

Early Bird

Swallow every worm.

Sleep No More

Don't let sleeping dongs lie.

Bulking Gear

Use all the "supplements" you can for maximal gains.

Paperwork

Submit your monthly physical report.

Popcorn Buffet

Eat a disgusting amount of popcorn.

Master Unlocker

Collect enough milk to fill the tank.

Couch Party

Have enough friends and enough controllers to play an 8 player game.

Spare Wheel

Be the only one locked out of an ouroborus.

The Perfect Partner

Marry yourself in Abstinence.

My Precious

Get all of the rings in Lord of the Rings.

Magnetic Basshole

Win Lights Out in under five seconds.

Safety First

Everyone survives having sex in a trash-compactor full of needles.

Autopaedicatio

Penetrate yourself in Traditional Mode.

Fussy Lover

Save yourself for that special orgy.
+2

2 hidden achievements remaining

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