one my cat gave me hand job well this is a true story but its really reallly hilarious just let me tell it , i was lying on my bed,, i was lying on my bed,, it so happened that ,his elbows landed on my balls and he just stayed like that and every 5 seconds he would adjust his postion so he would move his elbows thus massaging my balls that gave me a 10 minute erection he stayed like that , for 10 minutes at last i had to like,, pull my pants down a little so my thing can breathe because of the long erection , it became so hot but when i pulled my pants down , my thing just ejaculated it went on my sweater ( it was winter) i quickly jumped and cleaned the ♥♥♥♥ my parents were at home thank god they didnt see this ♥♥♥♥ it may seem unbelievable but it really happened, i just,, have crazy stories and its not the first time a cat did something sexual to me

+rep, good game sense

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⠀⠸⣽⣻⠃⣿⡿⠋⣉⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⡟⠉⡉⢻⣿⡌⣿⣳⡥⠀
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⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣾⣶⣶⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣧
⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⡿

Victory incoming!

Tactical brilliance

goat :3

It has been 4 hours since I successfully sucked my own penis. Things are different now. As soon as mouth-to- penis contact was made I felt a shockwave through my body. I have reason to believe I have super strength and telekinesis now.. 3 hours after contact I noticed a van parked on my street but no one has entered or exited the car since its arrival. I fear for my safety, I'm not sure what sort of power I may have stumbled upon but it's possible that the government has found out. If I don't update this again please send help.

Update: Just escaped from the pentagon, the government is sending all their military forces to pursue me, my life is currently in extreme peril. They attempted to strip my ability to suck my own penis but I created a shockwave to blast away the researchers before they could touch me. This is bad, I have exhausted all my chromosomes and now I have to hide and replenish my energy while the patrol helicopters fly over me.

─▄████▄████▄
██▒▒▒▒█▒▒▒▒██(¯`•´¯)
▀██▒▒▒▒▒▒▒██▀.*•❀•*.
─▀██▒▒▒▒▒██▀.•..(¯`•´¯)
───▀██▒██▀(¯`•´¯)*•❀•*
─────▀█▀…•..*•❀•*

♥𝙖𝙙𝙙 𝙢𝙚 𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚♥

I caught this guy ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ my girlfriend last week. I’m still pissed about it but there’s nothing I can do. She loves him. I knew she was acting weird because she kept staying out late and coming home with taco sauce on her blouse. During sex she’d scream to give her my five dollar foot long, but I’m only 3 inches and five dollars is way too much for what I’m giving. One day I came home to find her getting plowed against the wall by this dude. He had her hair in one hand and a taco bell cheesy gordita crunch in the other. I tried to fight him, but he slapped me so hard it broke every window in the house. This dude’s a stone cold pimp and I can’t do anything to hurt him, so I can only hope he breaks her heart one day like she broke mine.

+REP
dodaj do znaj prosze, mam sprawe

I dont know who you are, where you live, or if you're a man or a woman, but when you see this comment, I hope and pray that you have good health, successful employment, and endless happiness with your family.I have no idea who you are, where you live, or if you're a man or a woman, but when you see this comment, I hope and pray that you have good health, successful employment, and endless happiness with your family.

hey, add me please!:)

skilled rifler, strong gunplay, let's stay dominant on the server

This profile is a real example of how mental illness is real, and malice isn't always involved in the bad actions of the mentally ill.

nice mate

retarded loser

Signed by me :) Lets play csgo

imagine theres no welfare
no freeloaders
imagine theres no medicaid
people taking care of themselves
imagine all, the people,
working for their sake

imagine theres no anime,
no cancer in viewable form,
imagine theres no weebs,
in front of us only memes,
imagine all, the people,
living all in peace,
you may say, this is hate speech,
but i'm not the only one.
hopefully you'll be less bluepilled,
and the world will be 1 plus more logical.

imagine theres no multiculturalism,
everyone in their own land.
imagine theres no lefties,
and no righties too.
imagine all the countries,
super nation, hand by haaand.

you may say, this is hate speech
but im not the only one.
hopefully you'll be less bluepilled,
and the world will live as one.

When I hit the live chat it just said live chat, it did not say PROFESSIONAL live chat. I'm not being paid to chat to you, hence this is not professional. I will be taking my business elsewhere in the future. Also, how is this professional if you can't even ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ spell correctly. Please, you work for a live chat for a billion dollar business, take some ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ spelling classes.

Listen, I understand that. But I'm just saying why can't you guys offer either a Steam version AND a UPlay version so I can pick whatever the ♥♥♥♥ I wanna download it on. If I knew I was gonna get the free download for ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ UPlay I would have just went with some AMD Cards.

Hi, I ordered two 970's off newegg, and they came with Tom Clancy's The Division. And I went to redeem them, and it wants me to download that off of uplay. Which is something I do not use, Steam is way better. Is there a way that you can get me a Steam Key please.

This is incura's bong, it will save you from VAC
_____________}}}___________
____________{{{{{{_________
__________OOOOOOO_________
__________OOOOOOO_________
__________OOOOOOO_________
__________OOOOOOO_________
__________OOOOOOO______}__
__________OOOOOOO_____{{__
__________OOOOOOO_____(..)__
__________OOOOOOO_____%___
__________OOOOOOO____%_____
__________OOOOOOO___%______
________OOOOOOOOOO%_______
_______OOOOOOOOOOOO_______
______OOOOOOOOOOOOOO______
_____OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO______
_____OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO______
______OOOOOOOOOOOOOO_______
_______OOOOOOOOOOOO________
________OOOOOOOOOO_________

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╚╝╚══╩╝╚╝-|╚╝ Support Furries! ♥

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╚╝╚══╩╝╚╝-|╚╝ Support Furries! ♥

╔═╦╗╔╦═╦═╦╗╔╗ Put This On
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Please don't make fun of me online in 2016

They told me a few dope clouds wouldn't hurt anyone. They said I wouldn't get addicted. That first vape hit sent my life down a dark path.

If you send me a chat snap of you vaping with your homies I will call the police.

Just saw someone vaping on a hoverboard. Not gonna lie I got violent.

Vaping is just a trend. It's just like the ice bucket challenge, man buns, and chugging vodka through your butt. It will die out.

You will never become one of the lords of vape town so stop trying.

Dj Khaled told me that a major 🔑 to success is to cut the VAPE addicts out of your life before they try and kill you.

Vaping is the douchebag mating call.

I don't care if your a beginning vaper, or a seasoned veteran your clouds don't impress me.

I almost aborted my 3 year old son after I caught him watching VAPE vines in the bathroom.

If you look up al Qaeda in the dictionary it's just a picture of a VAPE pen.

Vaping is not like airbending so stop telling yourself that.

Good morning everyone i hope VAPE addiction doesn't end your life today.

Retweet this if you VAPE so I can notify the police and have you arrested.

Just found out vaping causes popcorn lung. What's next Bologna lung, deep dish pizza lung? When does the violence stop

When you VAPE, you might as well tell your family dog you don't love him anymore because your life is over.

Guys, I don't care how "lit" a party is or how swag your "dabbing" is, No girls will want to tickle your #SexHole because you VAPE.

VAPING is a gateway drug. First your puffin your e-cig next your doing lines of cocaine in a Wendy's bathroom. It's a vicious cycle.

Dope clouds aren't worth a life of crime. #Vapekills

If vaping was a shoe it would be crocs covered in ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥.

Do you think Michael Jordan was high on VAPE when he saved the looney tunes in space jam? Hahah yah right in your dreams.

No disrespect to anyone who Vapes but I don't respect you.