He's real dumb but real pretty. Everything I'm looking for in an object.

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I grew up on a ketchup farm in Mississippi. We would go out all day and dig up bottles of ketchup then sell them by the side of the road for 10 dimes, which most people just call a dollar now. It wasn't till I was 18 that my pappy told me there's no such thing as a ketchup farm, he was buying those bottles in town and burying them in the middle of the night just to give us something to do the next day. They cost him two dollars a bottle, so we were losing a solid dollar every bottle, plus the time spent digging them up and him sneaking out every night to bury them. After I found out I moved to New York to become a jazz dancer. I became a hit and danced privately for many well known celebrities and world leaders. I would sometimes dance quietly for Einstein in his study, he said it helped him think. I was dancing softly in the corner when he came up with the E equals Mc Squared stuff.
"You seem quite young to have danced for Einstein"
"You're very kind young man".

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