Sofa King Bad

Hey Sofas!

Today I'd just like to make a quick announcement regarding our new recruitment policy and what it takes to be on the best CSGO team in the world!

Upon entering a game, immediately look out for which players are the best and/or have the best personality. Be nice, friendly and approach them with the level of professionalism in which one would observe in a job interview. Then break down the list of requirements:

We, as SofaKings, need you to prove your worth before inviting you onto our grand team of warriors by completing one of the following rituals:

1. Get 2 noscopes
2 Get 2 knife kills
3. Ninja defuse immediately makes you Sofaking material.
4. Being a girl also just immediately gives you access no questions asked.
5. If you're gay youre a Sofa

Thanks for taking the time out of your day to read my short prompt on getting some frickin Sofas up in this piece!

- SofaKing Recruitment Advisor Balrog