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should any of you find yourself being prosecuted by the authorities, it shall be my duty to rush to the scene and explain to the police officers that while you may very well be a black man, that you are "White-Man Approved™" and should recieve no harm as such. Then, with my permission, you shall show the police the brand I have placed on your backs to prove the defense.
So, to summarize, you shall fear the authorities of the law no longer if you allow me to aid your operation
My name is Col. John Smith III, PhD., Esquire
I am so white, that when I walk into a room, it gets brighter.
I am the whitest man alive, and I offer you my services as an insider into the white community.
There is only one condition, that everyone here refer to me as "Crackuh".
What do ya say my crackuhs?