Kappa Theory

Fundamental Theorem of Kappa Theory

Fornicate her directly in the vaginal cavity.

The Kappa Constant

Derived from the Fundamental Theorem of Kappa Theory; the Kappa Constant - uppercase Κ, lowercase κ or cursive ϰ - is equal to 8.09105473861 m/s, expressed mathematically as:
Κ = 8.09105473861 m/s
OR κ = 8.09105473861 m/s
OR ϰ = 8.09105473861 m/s

Kappa's Constancy Principle

One of the postulates, which puts forth that the Kappa Constant is measured as the same speed to all observers, regardless of their relative motion.

Kappa Theory of Causality

Any negative event can have its source traced back to Kappa.

Ideal Kappa Law

The Ideal Kappa Law states that the pressure, P, of a situation multiplied by the victory-lead, V, is equal to number of remaining enemy players, n, multiplied by the rage constant, R, multipled by the torque (trash talking) of the enemy team, T:
PV = nRT

Kappa's Complementary Principle

Kappa's Complementary Principle states that two complementary parameters cannot both be ideal; the more ideal one, the less ideal the other.

The Kappa Queuing Paradigm

The Kappa Queuing Paradigm states that the chance of winning a game is inversely proportional to the square of the number of random players on your team, expressed mathematically as:
V = 1/(r^2 + (4/3))

Fifth Rule of the Earth

Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.

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