The impossible appears to have happened, and Steam has made its way to the platform used only by hipsters, gays and other sheeple—that is, the Disciples of Bork!

Along with the deliciously succulent taint of Jobs, our humble group also welcomes an influx of two Borkers who, so far, have been absent from our gamer harem cooperative: purple-haired Whaleman and his cetacean lover, LadyOrca (known here as Zarjah, for who knows what reason).

By this time next year, we expect to be welcoming our pets and North Koreans to Steam as well!