“When a small group of university scientists began linking computers on different campus sites at the very end of the 1960s, they had no idea that their work would one day spiral into a globally-accessible network in which the total number of pages is measured in the tens of billions. Such has been the Internet's phenomenal and dizzying growth that much of the technology which supports it has grown organically and without much forward planning. But what if the Internet was to run out of space? This isn't just a theoretical debate, but something experts warn could become a real issue within a few years. Now, one business school professor studying the issue believes he may have come up with an overly-simplified explanation of what the issue is that provides some amount of suspense for an audience that is only mildly interested in what he has to say. The problem isn't one of storage, but of location.”
Yes, the internet’s natural habitat is systematically being targeted and destroyed by those who would exploit its natural beauty and continuity, I speak of mainly of blogging sites, and even worse, social grouping sites such as <address withheld>, <address withheld>, and www.webkinz.com.

What can you do to prevent the destruction of the precious?
1. If you come across a place of business selling Webkinz, burn it down.
2. Cut down local forests and wild life centers to make room for new servers.
3. Imperialize Canada so we can strip mine their internet.
4. Find a way to destroy Xbox Live, arson has already been tried.
5. Instead of watching streamed videos of cute kittens on Youtube repeatedly, simply download the video and watch it on constant playback via VLC.
6. Join Starfleet so we can colonize other planets and establish servers there, oh yes, and also to seek out new life and new civilization, to boldly go where no man has gone before, but mainly for the server space.

Remember, every step you take to preserve the Internet, is one less step you have to make to complete a homework assignment.

After two days of rigerous fund raising, Super Special Awesome Team Pals raised 4 cents for the Pompeii Natural Disaster Relief Fund, which inversely compounded over 1931 years of inflation comes to a grand total of: $10687922720121575974908030161122922019105648671507202466854185358580817052800203233051187295971373440095684773238530891249969925018928235507126505431187539095200234824549682997560146616999588145114659843058435733506430037140720920373036081734540074185509262304046808177106303175930683508234784249733310022808978629635830374292244245538984472191318613945379973042915039824518222426585613092916863992279689232221677629538382512029356044989427766490422612509733589303138307013027340385976668308530229245456665314735490140299829772920562242254326575172602730909265628081032212504170876139743287619326087326230701951934716386426147558916747741706366151504001271579555328535396246288987881165912331973171256622483069450081935321687255735601423685144683408019108525858446793715498957317082064868663311198152073554186271336023917560055549264541257305704561224400728775.78 (.04e^(1.026*1931)) Thanks to Super Special Awesome Team Pals’ generous donation, Pompeii is once again a grand city of commerce. (Before: http://theclassof2012.files.wordpress.com/2008/08/pompeii-prayer.jpg After: http://it.pinellas.k12.fl.us/schools/tarponfund-es/images/DC592AA24AA14236A9EE9E37AB8AD6CB.jpg) Unfortunately, it appears that a large portion of Special Awesome Team Pals’ donation money (more than 99.9999999999999999%) was, in fact, embezzled by George Soros himself, as Greece still isn’t the leading economic super power of the world, still has a rather sucky economy, and George Soros is still a filthy rich, greedy, good-for-nothing bastard. In response to George Soro’s maniacal greed, Super Special Awesome Team Pals has sent Soros several un-marked hate letters and an empty box of chocolates.

Until next time,
Super Special Awesome Team Pal

After hurricane Katrina struck New Orleans on August 28th, 2005, many were shocked to find that it took FEMA several days to respond to this catastrophe with food and medical supplies for the newly destitute survivors (newly not applying to hobos, who were already pretty dang poor). Those hours of neglect cost the lives of dozens of American citizens, an injustice that will be remembered by insurance agencies everywhere for a super long time. As hard as it is to fully comprehend the calamitous nature of this almost unforgettable event, a much more antiquated one presses at our conscience like a horde of hypocritical tree-hugging liberals. I speak of Pompeii, which the Greek government has rebuffed for over one thousand nine hundred and thirty one years. About that long ago before last Thursday, Mount Olympus, right outside the cities borders, erupted, spraying pyroclastic material all over the city, the citizens of Pompeii, and, more importantly, valuable real-estate. Because of Greece’s negligence (perhaps due to their crappy economy) Super Special Awesome Team Pals has opened a relief fund to help rebuild the desolate city of Pompeii. To donate to the relief fund, please send your credit card number and Social Security number to [email protected] , and the amount you wish to donate, and operators will take care of the rest.

Thank You, and may the Team of Pals be with you, always.