Howdy FireAnt!!! Good to see your still around, congrats on the whole Dental thing too man! I would be more gracious were it not for the fact that I had to cough up several grand in dental procedures this past year, but oh well. I DON'T envy you the work that your getting into, reaching your fingers into people's mouths, sounds like a ♥♥♥♥♥♥ nightmare, but I applaude you for your efforts none the less. Dental school is expensive and though you can make some good money, you take on a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ of debt for some time getting started. I wish you some serious luck friend. Though , your going away for dental school? Hope it's not like, Costa Rica or like, Guatemala. Witch Doctor Dentist? Just kidding man.

Um, sheesh, getting back to a DOD's server probably isn't gonna happen I'm afraid, I only just got back form a month in Ireland with my new somewhat less ♥♥♥♥♥♥ gf, (with happily no kids in her orbit), and I am really busy with ♥♥♥♥ these days. My business is going nuts, I am close to finishing for the most part my farm house project I took on, and I am trying to get my pilots license as I have gone into a plane commitment with a couple buddies, a nice little Cessna. Just big enough to take a few friends for some cool remote getaways, and if they act ♥♥♥♥♥♥, LEAVE THEM THERE! LOL. (Hello Mr. Bigfoot, got some lunch for you.) Gas, grass or ass, NOBODY rides for free!!

No no, I dont smoke anymore so it's all about ass I'm afraid. Still trying to get over my kidney disease ♥♥♥♥ and I find I am not into the childish party thing anymore, life is too good to try to add too much to the mix ya know? I just have fun doing my little thing, and paying for a new girl friend's nursing school, she's an LPN going for her RN. She's pretty cool, actually kinda saved my life last year after my break-up when I was going through another horrible kidney failure thing out of the blue, and she has nursed me back to life again for a short while. Foolish girl!

I am actually, hate to say it, but I find I am slipping into the trap of a Love that I can not seem to do without, despite my cynical natures, and I hope this one manages to stick around for a while, for I am indeed having more fun than I think I ever have before. Having almost died several times in the last few years, I find that a LOT of lifes petty garbage seems to slip away when you see more of the BIG PICTURE, especially as I know I am so much closer to the end of the ride now.

If she only knew what crimes to humanity she had committed by saving my life and what hopeless insanity she was getting herself into huh? She was, lol, (was) a friend of my former gf and,..lmfao, actually inherited the new Lincoln I bought the ♥♥♥♥. LOL, THAT'S gotta piss her off seeing her old friend driving her car, it was worth the money juuuust for that alone. Yes, I AM a prick. But one with a wicked sense of humor! And as long as I'M laughing, I don't really give a ♥♥♥♥ if YOU don't get the joke.

I almost got married this last year, Long story but I am fairly confident that I used up several of my nine lives in getting out of that ♥♥♥♥. I was manipulated into thinking about it as I was turning 50, was coming up on an historic solar eclipse (that coincided ON my 50th b-day), and the super volcano in Yellowstone was issuing reports almost daily of getting close to blowing it's top, so I figured, hell, I'm likely to die real soon anyway, WHY NOT get married right? Wrong!

I almost met my match in a ♥♥♥♥♥ that understood me better than anyone ever had, appealed to my realist, cynical nature and told me that she didn't love me so much, but that she really cared for me a great deal, and I could in fact be a huge break in life for a kid that didn't have a dad. I almost fell for the line that it could be why I am alive after all my bs in the last few years. That helping to raise a kid that needed me could be one great legacy I could leave behind/ She had the kid ask me questions like "Why don't you want to be my daddy"? HOW the ♥♥♥♥ do you answer a 6 year old girl on a loaded question like that huh?

She played to my logical side so much I almost gave in, BUT, she played her hand too quickly and too strong in the end, and happily, the spell was broken in an instant one day when she told me that the kid was messed with a little by her real dad, and I thought, ya know? I'm gonna feed and clothe a lil minature ♥♥♥♥♥ till one day she's old enough to do the shorta ♥♥♥♥ to guys that a couple sexually abused ♥♥♥♥♥ tried to do to me? NO THANX!!! I guess you went to the well one time too many!!!

One day the lil one told me when I was trying to lay down the law on her that she couldn't just leave the house and wander the neighborhood anytime she wanted to looking for kids to play with and the lil witch actually looked at me and said "I can do what I want to, I'm a teenager", and,..the mental ♥♥♥♥♥ looked like she believed it. I immediately looked down at her legs, and began to compute in my head, juuust how long it was gonna be before she was tall enough to be bringing guys into my house to ♥♥♥♥, stealing cash out of my pants while I was sleeping and how soon I was gonna have to lock up the keys to all the vehicles. ( I myself started stealing the keys at 14 so I knew I was on borrowed time already).

I happen to feel that there is a very special time in nearly every relationship where you just have to look a ♥♥♥♥♥ in the eye, and say, "I never really liked you, GET LOST!" And so, another love interest of mine died. Gosh, I love chicks mental ♥♥♥♥. SO much time wasted on losers that are just looking for some poor guy to blame their whole ♥♥♥♥♥♥ up miserable sexually abused lives on!!


But,....I digress.

Actually man, it's been so ♥♥♥♥♥♥ long since I played any video games, I'm not sure I would care for it. I would love to talk to you and some of the old gang, but I feel strongly that sometimes, you can never go home again. I think about the old times once in a while, but it's hard to imagine going back to a place that still has so many bad memories, especially when I am feeling and doing better than I ever have.

I wish you well, thank you for remembering me, and I hope we can talk some day when we both have the time. I hope you try to touch base on here sometime when you can though, I may still return one cold winter day when I have little else to do. Love ya man! Fox.

Hello FCC! Sorry I have been away for so long, lots going on, and time is limited for me.

Since I have been asked a few times rcently about the group and even once about my self (FCC-DREDD, Thank you kindly), I figured I should be less of a pig than usual and try to update the FEW people that actually give a ♥♥♥♥.
To start off, I have to say right away that I am in no position to restart the group, a server, or anything else that requires any real time. My business and my health come first for me now, my gf and her sisters kid that she sadly insists on bringing over here 3 or 4 times a week are second ( I child proof my house, buy she STILL manages to get IN), and my new house construction is a distant third, and is relegated to the status of "An Evil Hobby". Everything else is too far off the list for even an honorable mention.

It's not that I don't want to see the group play again, it's just not gonna happen at this time as I am just freaking too busy, and most nights I am so tired when I come home, I pass out right away. I think about the group once in a while wistfully, but then I laugh and blow it off again. My gf is NOT happy when I am on a computer, near the computers, or even when one is turned on it seems, and when a ♥♥♥♥♥ is not happy, she is never unhappy,...
A-L-O-N-E!

It's not that I don't have the will to fight her on this, it's just that I would rather have sex a few times a week, than to fight with her, it's just easier to let her have her way. And anyway, I have to tell you, I play on my CSS server once in a while, and after like 15 mins, I am usually freaking bored to tears. It's just not as much fun as it used to be. I've changed too much, don't smoke pot anymore, and I guess that was one of the things that made it fun for me.

I have also reached the age now where it seems I have less and less will to fight about every ♥♥♥♥♥♥ lil thing, and simply want to let ♥♥♥♥ happen around me and take what I want and leave the rest alone. As I nursed my injured foot the other day, I reflected that I have finally come to the point in my life when stepping on a kids scattered lego's is far more painful than S&M. I also had the fleeting, momentary thought that it would almost be as much pleasure as ♥♥♥♥♥, to punt a small child once in a while like a football.

It's funny though, all my life I wanted a kid?, but now that I have one around a lot, I DON'T WANT A KID. That was something that should have happened a long time ago, and since it didn't, I am still more than a lil pissed about it and apt to be ♥♥♥♥♥♥ and sensitive about the subject and sometimes see the kid as a sad reminder of what should have been and wasn't. My gf likes to throw around the M word, but I will not marry now for the rest of my life, I don't see the point, don't believe in love for the most part, and anyway, I don't trust a ♥♥♥♥♥ as far as I could throw one anyway, even the best ones are ♥♥♥♥♥ that most often times, when they get what THEY want out of a relationship, their legs snap shut like a well oiled bear trap! Seen it happen too many times, know what I'm talkin about here!

The ones that don't?, are too free with their ♥♥♥♥♥ and it becomes far too nasty and smelly, something that a decent, self respecting man wouldn't WANT anymore A-N-Y-W-A-Y. When a chick becomes so loose that you can't "feel" her much, like your wearing a condom but your NOT!, what's the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ point?

Anyway,...
About myself: I have been doing well, am still in a lot of pain from time to time with a dying kidney, but am pretty stable most of the time now that I have the money to pay for some really seriously expensive holistic food supliments meant to keep my kidney alive for a lil while longer. It seems that the 10 years I carried the ♥♥♥♥♥♥ stone around in me, pretty much ruined the thing, and they tell me I may need to have it taken out at some point soon. Not sure I intend to let them, kinda think nature should kill me when she wants to and not go fighting it, as I expect to go to a much better , happier place than this cold loveless ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ of a planet. I have truly seen FAR TOO MUCH ♥♥♥♥, and loved some of the world's WORST FEMALES.

Though, after an insanely large settlement I got from 2 different hospitals that ♥♥♥♥♥♥ me over, life is indeed more fun than it used to be. I spend money like water and laugh more than I ever used to, interestingly that was about the time that a girl in my old neighborhood "Suddenly found me attractive" Funny how cold hard cash does that for a guy turning 50 this summer huh? Though I bought her and her mom a house, as well as my own old farm house project that I always wanted, (and now I am not sure I remember W-H-Y?), as she is about half my age, I am rather convinced that she and her "Real" boyfriend will one day soon hit me on the head when I'm not paying attention and drive off with what they can.

Reminds me of a joke I used to love, guy says to his young sexy gf, "If I lost my job and couldn't pay for your car, and all the stuff I buy for you, would you,... still love me"? She replies, "Oh Honey! Of COURSE I would still love you!,...and,..Miss you,.. TOO!

♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥! Can't live with them,...cant,... cut them up in 50 pieces and bury them in your back yard.

Professional assination has to be about the GREATEST form of public service! Wish I knew one. Still looking.

Anyway, I thought that with all this money, I could make FCC as big as EGO right? Then I thought I would rather just ♥♥♥♥ my brains out and buy her and the kid a bunch of ♥♥♥♥ they really don't need and call it a day. In all fairness, she actually does more for me than I like to admit most days, shes a hell of a cook, and though I think she's too much of a flirt with any guy that talks to her, she IS a tight lil thing, and I can overlook a lot of ♥♥♥♥ when I'm happy and getting regular sex. Which is where I am NOW, more happy than I think I have ever been.

Which is why noone would really want to play video games with me anymore as I am not the same person I once was. IE: Into ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ and yelling at everyone for stupid ♥♥♥♥. Not being in a lot of pain helps that a lot, but I tend to think it's more the money and the ♥♥♥♥♥ that really makes the difference. Ye-ah, I'm pretty sure that's it.

Also my best friend died VERY suddenly last Oct. of a ruptured artery, the sort of thing where had he been at the hospital, ON the table when it happened, he still woulda croaked. You don't survive a torn aorta. He died exactly six weeks after his 50th birthday, he and I were one year apart, so I am trying to make it juuust past his record, I need to live to one day past Halloween this year to beat his time here.

The event has shaken me up a lil bit more than I like to admit, for, for all my trouble in and out of the hospitals, I always sorta thought it was gonna be me that went first between the two of us, and now that he died the way he did, I am a lil weirded out by a LOT of things, and find I am more than a little frantic about the things I want to do before I die now that I am feeling so very much better than I have been for the past several years.

Anyway, I would like to put the old server up for a month sometime for a reunion, but sadly, I have NO idea when that might be. Prob not this spring or summer, look for me in the fall or next winter when I am out of money and my gf has finally come to her senses and left me.

If you want,..I am on the CSS server a couple times a month, just for the hell of it for a lil while, stop by and say hello if you think about it, (server IP is posted on our page)
Take care you guys!
Fox