Slappin' balls and takin' names

What the ♥♥♥♥ did you just ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ say about me, you little BallSlappy? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the BallSlappy, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids onBallSlappy, and I have over 300 confirmed BallSlappies. I am trained in holy mackeral and I’m the top scout in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the ♥♥♥♥ out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this BallSlappy, mark my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ words. You think you can get away with saying that ♥♥♥♥ to me over the BallSlappy? Think again, ♥♥♥♥♥♥. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of sphees across the USA and your BallSlappy is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, BallSlappy. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare fish. Not only am I extensively trained in mackeral combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Mann Co. and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little ♥♥♥♥. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ BallSlappy. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ idiot. I will ♥♥♥♥ fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ dead, BallSlappy."