72 Virgins? It's 72 Virginians you filth!

Osama bin Laden just died and he’s walking to the Pearly Gates. He is met by St. Peter who says, walk on through, but you have some answering to do for what you did on earth, bucko. Bin Laden shrugs it off and walks ahead.

BAM!

George Washington ran up and blindsides Bin Laden with a right hook. Washington, pissed off, yells, “How dare you kill those countrymen of mine, defending what I built!”

Washington starts beatin that ass.

Bin Laden gets his bearings just in time for Thomas Jefferson to deliver a roundhouse kick to the face. Jefferson, even more pissed off, “How dare you support those who killed my Americans and rammed a plane into Virginia!” Jefferson starts wailing on the guy with nunchucks.

Then 70 other Virginian Continental men join in the beating.

Bin Laden starts yelling, “Wait a minute, I thought I was going to get 72 Virgins?

”Washington responds, “72 Virginians you filth!” Pounding on Bin Laden with brass knuckles.