Alright, listen—Amnesia: The Dark Descent? This game is… this game is… ah, Christ, where the hell am I?

You wake up in some big, creepy house, no clue how you got there, everything’s foggy—feels like the time I took too many of those little blue pills at Bobby’s barbecue. You start walking around, trying to piece things together, but the more you remember, the worse it gets. Just like my doctor says about my brain—"Junior, some things are better left forgotten."

And the shadows? They watch you. I swear to God, I saw something in the corner of my eye—big, ugly ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, looked like Livia after a bad perm. Tried to run, but my knees ain't what they used to be. Turns out, running ain't even an option—you hide, you crawl, you pray. I did that just last week when Tony came knocking about some money I "forgot" I owed him.

The game? It’s a masterpiece. But me? I ain't playing no more. Too close to home. Last time I got this scared, I was in the middle of Costco and couldn’t remember where I parked.

10/10. Terrifying. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go lie down… as soon as I figure out where the hell my bedroom is.

almost 15 years old but somehow better than every recent AAA game

gave me a permanent fear of storage rooms